The smallest of things at times can cause me to become depressed. Depression causes the most trivial things in my life to seem overwhelming. The key word is seems. All that most of those things need is for a little time to pass and everything is fine. God is good and loves me and wants the best for me. It is so hard to remember that when I am in the grip of depression. I think that if I simply could remember to start praying when such feelings start to get to me, the bout with depression would end in less time. Feelings are betrayers. I should never do anything because of the way I feel. I pray more now than I ever have. I try to pray constantly. Prayer is so effective. I only have minor bouts with depression. I feel compassion for those who are depressed all their waking day. Dear Lord, please help them.

     I was watching the movie “The Way” and thought, “Hey, I can do that!”. I went to Amazon and added books about the Way of St James to my wishlist. I thought about what equipment I would need. And then I remembered, I have sleep apnea, I am old, I am fat, my health is bad, dream bubble popped! It may be that the attraction of the Way of St James is that it forces people to slow down and thing about things. Thinking about things that are holy could be a form of meditation. The walk could be a walking prayer to God. I may not be able to travel to Spain and walk the Way of St James, but I can take longer walks. I can for no reason at all walk a couple of miles. I can meditate on the way. I can’t walk and chew gum, I am able to walk and pray. I can meditate and pray while I work. I should walk and think. Start a “Way of My Own”. I can have a way of my own to travel closer to God. Hmmm, this is doable!

My brother and I were driving home after swing shift at the shoe factory at DeQueen, Arkansas. It was probably 1 am or so. The radio announcer came on air to say that Elvis had died.

I went into town for the monthly book sale at the New Boston Public Library. I bought four bags, this is my score: a couple of hardback Anne Rice, even though she joined the church and left it just as quickly when she found out the Magisterium wouldn’t follow her instuctions (orders), a couple James Clavell in hardback, I like his series of books, a dozen or so paperback Robert Ludlum, six or so James Patterson in hardback and paperback, a James Michener in hardback, I enjoyed his books about various places in the world, a couple of Robert Jordan Wheel of Times paperbacks, a few John Grisham books, even though I highly dislike lawyers, a few other hardbacks and paperbacks that will fill in gaps. All in all, I was pleased. I wish there were more booksales of this type near home.

Last summer there was a drought. I only mowed the yard one time all summer long. My wife also left me, there was also a drought in my soul. This summer I have planted ten rose bushes and three tomato plants. I think I am coming out of it. My divorce stole my dreams. They are gradually creeping back. I took two days of vacation this week, yesterday and today. It helps me to think without interuption.

I am going to watch a movie and drink something cafienated.